i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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