I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
