is your mom at the bar?
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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