I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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