I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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