mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
