when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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