then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
