Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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