I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
