he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
