so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
