Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and she was petting her beer can
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
