How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
