This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
