toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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