i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
