what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
