i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just pee around me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
