walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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