I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
