if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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