i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
