My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
