4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
