The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize