my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Are we still banned from the library?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
