This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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