Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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