butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
