he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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