You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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