What a fucking waste of an outfit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
