did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
