There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
