I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
