That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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