Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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