this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
