never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
