Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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