I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
