i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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