Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
