okay pat passed out under dana's car
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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