Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
