Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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