you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
