He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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