I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
