I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
