I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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