You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
